How to tell a "rape joke" ›

patheticjunkies:

sexologist:

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This clip from the Daily Show with Jon Stewert about rape culture on college campuses and the differences in the advice men and women receive about staying safe after drinking is a spot-on example of how to do rape jokes.

After Daniel Tosh said how “funny” it would be if a member of his audience was gang raped “right now”, people were outraged, and in response to that outrage, a slew of pretty much exclusively male comedians, complained about “being silenced” and asserted that no topic should be off limits. “Boo-hoo! We want to joke about rape but people feel hurt and angry when we do! Poor us!”

But they missed the point. The thing isn’t that rape can’t be a topic of a joke, it’s all about context and the way the joke is told. I call it the Punching Up/Punching Down Rule of comedy. Good jokes punch up to the oppressor. Bad jokes punch down to those already down. Tosh’s “joke” about a woman in the audience being raped when so many women are raped, and there was a fair possibility that particular woman had been raped, is punching down, hurtful, bullying, and not funny.

This Daily Show skit , in comparison, uses humor to talk about rape, but the butt of the joke is not victims and survivors, which is punching down, rather the butt of the joke is on people who propagate rape culture, police and college administrators who don’t take rape claims seriously, and the men who say “not all men”, which is all punching up to the oppressors. When punching up, and done with actual comedic skill, as was done here, rape can be a topic used in comedy and the joke can even provide important social commentary, which is what satire is all about.

So if you try to tell a sexual violence joke, and people get pissed, it’s not them, it’s you. It’s not that they are humorless or “can’t take a joke”, it’s that you aren’t funny and don’t know how to tell a joke.

How to tell a joke about rape in one easy step:

1. Ask yourself “does my joke, A. punch down at the people who have been historically and systematically hurt by sexual violence, making light of their actual lived experiences or their fear of sexual violence becoming their actual lived experience, or does my joke B. punch up, making fun of and using humor as a tool to criticize people, ideologies, and social structures who through their institutional power participate in or contribute to a culture tolerant of sexual violence?”

If you’re answer is:

"B": Proceed, with sensitivity and caution.

"hmmm, I’m not sure how to tell if my joke is A or B, because the nuance of social power and privilege as they relate to sexual violence is not something I’m learned in": Do NOT proceed. You do not have the skill set to pull off this joke.

"A. But c’mon. It’s funny": Do NOT proceed. And you’re an asshole by the way.

Check out the Daily Show clip for an example of what B, punching up comedy about sexual assault, looks like.

This is soooo spot on. Good black comedy is making a joke about an issue without making the issue out to be a joke.

(via stfueverything)

soundsofsunset:

madelinelime:

When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit. 

That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.

but everything changed when the baby boomers attacked

(via coyoteelectric)

letstalkaboutthef-word:

nextyearsgirl:

thefrozenrose:

girldwarf:

lucifers-buttcheeks:

girldwarf:

some unimaginably rapey, entitled, horrible, abusive dude created a spreadsheet documenting his wife rejecting his sexual advances, and then he sent it to her in an email before she went on a trip (check out the wife’s original post on Reddit but fair warning: the comments are about as disgusting as you’d expect from that trash heap of a website)

I SAW THIS ON A DIFFERENT WEBSITE
THE COMMENTS SAID THINGS LIKE “THE WOMAN SHOULD KNOW MEN NEED SEX” “HER EXCUSES ARE BULLSHIT, WHEN DOES WATCHING A MOVIE EXCUSE NOT GIVING YOUR MAN SOME LOVING.” “HE DESERVES SOME SEX, SHE CANT EXPECT HIM TO JUST GO WITHOUT IT BC SHE DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM IT.” “IT DOESNT MATTER WHETHER SHE WANTED IT OR NOT, RELATIONSHIPS ARE ABOUT GIVE AND TAKE AND SHE NEEDS TO LEARN TO GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS”  I ACTUALLY NEARLY VOMITTED BC PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE SO GROSS YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO SEX AND TBH I WOULDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A GUY SO CHILDISH AND DEMANDING. ALSO CAN THE WHOLE “MEN NEED SEX, MEN CANT CONTROL THEIR URGES” FUCKING STOP 

When people say “it’s about give and take, she needs to give him what he wants even if she doesn’t, ” they’re literally saying “let him rape her.” Rape is the absence of consent. All it takes is ignoring her no. People disgust me sometimes.
And her “excuses” (reasons) are solid. Any reason to say no is solid. And this guy is so entitled and creepy. She’s busy watching her show or just got back from the gym and you feel like you’re owed her body? Right then? Fuck you, dude. She has her own life.

OMG I started reading the notes on this and I just can’t.
To hell with anybody who thinks this kind of thing is ok.
Sex is not guaranteed because you are married or in a relationship. There are MULTITUDES of reasons she may have said no, INCLUDING the fact that she was FED UP with feeling like he expected sex pretty much every day. Repeat after me:THE ONLY PERSON YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SEXUAL CONTACT WITH IS YOURSELF.Get it through your ducking skull, you’ll be much happier and so will everybody you interact with

This guy is a fucking shitstain. Between his whiny entitlement and the “I’m still tender from last night” that tells me sex to him means two minutes of jackhammering and nothing else, no wonder she never wanted to sleep with him. I hope she came home with a fistful of divorce papers.

This is repulsive. I don’t even know what else to say about it. That poor woman.

letstalkaboutthef-word:

nextyearsgirl:

thefrozenrose:

girldwarf:

lucifers-buttcheeks:

girldwarf:

some unimaginably rapey, entitled, horrible, abusive dude created a spreadsheet documenting his wife rejecting his sexual advances, and then he sent it to her in an email before she went on a trip (check out the wife’s original post on Reddit but fair warning: the comments are about as disgusting as you’d expect from that trash heap of a website)

I SAW THIS ON A DIFFERENT WEBSITE

THE COMMENTS SAID THINGS LIKE “THE WOMAN SHOULD KNOW MEN NEED SEX” “HER EXCUSES ARE BULLSHIT, WHEN DOES WATCHING A MOVIE EXCUSE NOT GIVING YOUR MAN SOME LOVING.” “HE DESERVES SOME SEX, SHE CANT EXPECT HIM TO JUST GO WITHOUT IT BC SHE DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM IT.” “IT DOESNT MATTER WHETHER SHE WANTED IT OR NOT, RELATIONSHIPS ARE ABOUT GIVE AND TAKE AND SHE NEEDS TO LEARN TO GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS” I ACTUALLY NEARLY VOMITTED BC PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE SO GROSS YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO SEX AND TBH I WOULDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A GUY SO CHILDISH AND DEMANDING. ALSO CAN THE WHOLE “MEN NEED SEX, MEN CANT CONTROL THEIR URGES” FUCKING STOP

When people say “it’s about give and take, she needs to give him what he wants even if she doesn’t, ” they’re literally saying “let him rape her.” Rape is the absence of consent. All it takes is ignoring her no. People disgust me sometimes.

And her “excuses” (reasons) are solid. Any reason to say no is solid. And this guy is so entitled and creepy. She’s busy watching her show or just got back from the gym and you feel like you’re owed her body? Right then? Fuck you, dude. She has her own life.

OMG I started reading the notes on this and I just can’t.

To hell with anybody who thinks this kind of thing is ok.

Sex is not guaranteed because you are married or in a relationship. There are MULTITUDES of reasons she may have said no, INCLUDING the fact that she was FED UP with feeling like he expected sex pretty much every day.
Repeat after me:
THE ONLY PERSON YOU ARE ENTITLED TO SEXUAL CONTACT WITH IS YOURSELF.
Get it through your ducking skull, you’ll be much happier and so will everybody you interact with

This guy is a fucking shitstain. Between his whiny entitlement and the “I’m still tender from last night” that tells me sex to him means two minutes of jackhammering and nothing else, no wonder she never wanted to sleep with him. I hope she came home with a fistful of divorce papers.

This is repulsive. I don’t even know what else to say about it. That poor woman.